Confessions of a Good Christian Guy

Taking Control of Your Life

Positive Accountability? Is there such a thing?

Accountability and positive consequences. For a true leader, and for a good Christian guy who wants to inact change in his life, accountability is what occurs in the context of helping others win and community. If it is carried out in a healthy manner it is always positive.

Here is what accountability is not – it’s not about finding fault, assigning blame or punishing someone, or yourself, for not meeting expectations. This works against desired outcomes by taking something away (experiencing loss) and is counter productive to the goal.

What it is about is rewarding your success, and the success of others by learning from mistakes. Even when someone misses the mark, positive accountability is utilized to help make them better. A new benchmark is set to help you move in a positive direction. So, throw out the old images of accountability that have weighed you down. It’s time to create a culture within relationships, and within yourself, that focuses on positive accountability.

100% Responsibility

I talk quite a bit about taking personal responsibility in Confessions of a Good Christian Guy. This means taking 100% responsibility for our issues, our actions, and who we have become. It's not your momma's fault, your bosses fault, or your wife's fault. Blame shifting takes away our God given power to change the circumstance. If we can blame an external, we remain the same. However if we take responsibility, then we have the power to change and can create a different path that helps us achieve the results we want in our lives.

We do we shy away from responsibility? Because we feel like our whole person is at risk. In our minds we hear, "If I admit that, I'm a failure." If thats what we here, we going to do everything we can to not accept responsibility. The truth is we are not a failure, we have simply made mistakes. To be a healthy man, all of us to separate who we are from what we do. I made a mistake, great. I can learn from it, change, and not go down the same path again.

This is a key truth to change: If you want the power to change, you must accept 100% responsibility. Then create a different path, a different strategy that leads to the man you truly want to be.

Taking Control of Our Lives

If you leadership is going to make a difference in the lives of others it must first produce change in your own life. The model here is that if you’re going to be a football coach you need to have played and studied the game before you teach others. A simple truth that is often ignored!

As a leadership ‘coach’ who makes a difference in the lives of others, the first play call you have to make starts with a commitment to personal responsibility. This is the only antidote to the disfigured leadership style produced by this insidious double-standard. Leaders cannot blame “circumstances” for their failure. Instead, leaders must begin with a commitment to total personal responsibility for every action and decision. Where you are in life, your attitude, and your position isn’t anyone else’s fault. The blame lies at your feet – you have set your life up that way.

The implications of total personal responsibility reach far beyond the workplace. As we take greater responsibility for ourselves, we are actively re-shaping culture—at home, at work, and in the community. This is the first real and honest step to taking control of your life!

Christian Men's Deepest Secrets Exposed

Here's a great review of Confessions from The Beechwood Reporter in Chicago:

By The Beachwood Christian Press Release Affairs Desk
Confessions of a "Good" Christian Guy
It's not hard to define what a "good Christian guy" is, right? They are the men who seem to have it all. Good job - check. Loving wife and family - check. Solid relationship with God - check.

But most people would be shocked to learn that lust, greed, infidelity, substance abuse, pride, and materialism also can have deep roots in the lives of many Christian men.

Conducting interviews on the topic of the "Secret Sins of Professing Christians" is author TOM DAVIS, who shares with your audience that life's most challenging issues are not saved just for the faith-less. Even "good Christian guys" grapple with these difficulties on a daily basis.

Tom Davis is a self-described "good Christian guy." But he is also is a sinner. He has wrestled with difficult issues, and admits that since coming to Christ, he has snorted cocaine, been sexually promiscuous, and spent time behind bars.

Tom's life is by no means perfect. He is a Christian, but he is also fallen. In his new book, Confessions of a Good Christian Guy, The Secrets Men Keep and the Grace that Saves Them, Davis explores the darkest corners of the lives of men like him - men who are outwardly upstanding citizens, church leaders, and pillars of their communities. His new book is not a lurid expose, but instead is an honest, thoughtful exploration of the damaging secrets that often lurk behind the perfect façade that some Christian men have so carefully constructed.

Tom shares with your audience that some Christian men may seem fine on the surface but on the inside often there are cracks in the veneer, as men - even Christian men - often repeat destructive behaviors and succumb to temptations. Tom explains that sometimes inviting Christ into one's heart does not immediately mark the end of the brokenness and pain that many men feel. Davis delves into numerous difficult topics, in chapters including:

1. "I've got a dirty mind": The Never-Ending Struggle of Sexual Sins
2. "I'm a self- made man": The Surprising Pervasiveness of Pride
3. "I want more stuff": The Hollow Promise of Materialism
4. "I love booze": The Destructive Trap of Substance Abuse
5. "I want to give up": The Weary Grind of Long-Term Discouragement
6. "I'm so ticked off": The Harmful Reality of Anger and Abuse

Davis gives Biblical examples of men who dealt with similar issues, like King David, Samson, and Nebuchadnezzar. He encourages readers to put themselves in God's hands and wrap themselves in the protection of His grace and forgiveness.

While Tom's topic is primarily for men, Tammy Maltby, (author of Confessions of a Good Christian Girl) offers a brief reflection at the end of each chapter of Tom's book for women who are affected by these sinning Christian men.

The Power of Confession

Our society has taught us that success is about what you possess not who you are. In other words, it's more about what I do than who I am. Confessions of a Good Christian Guy is about focusing on the most important aspects of masculinity, who you are. You and I may be successful, busy, and have lots of toys but if we aren't centered in a real relationship with Christ, built on strong values and character, our house of cards will soon fall.

As you strive toward that goal, I want to encourage you to resurrect the biblical practice of confession. James 5:16 says, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." There is power in seeking out another man in your life you respect and confessing your sins and praying. You can't do this in isolation, it must be in community. When you're able to practice this principle, something happens you couldn't have done on your own - healing. So don't waste any time. Find a man you respect, open your heart, and confess your sins. Glad you're on the journey!

Confessions of a Good Christian Guy

Dealing with the secret pain in the lives of many "good Christian" men.

Tom Davis gets specific about the brokenness and pain in the lives of good Christian men. This isn't a lurid expose but an honest and courageous look at the secrets most often lurking behind "victorious" Christian facades.

Chapters include:

I've got a dirty mind

"The Never-Ending Struggle of Sexual Sin"

I'm a self-made man

"The Surprising Pervasiveness of Pride"

I want more stuff

"The Hollow Promise of Materialism"

I need my dad

"The Confession of Parenting and Pain of a Father-Wound"

I love booze

"The Destructive Trap of Substance Abuse"

I don't like to feel

"The Difficulty of Being a Three-Dimensional Man"

I'm so ticked off

"The Harmful Reality of Anger and Abuse"

I want to give up

"The Weary Grind of Long-Term Discouragement"

In addition to the transparent stories and insight from Davis, Matlby concludes each chapter with reflections for those who care-practical insight for individuals walking beside a man struggling with these issues.

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Welcome to this new blog dedicated to my newest book Confessions of a Good Christian Guy. As you'll see in this short video, I wrote Confessions to tell the real stories of the real Christian men who struggle with sin in their lives. You can order a copy of the book by clicking on the link on the lefthand side of the screen.